I Sleep Train and I'm Not a Monster
Updated: Oct 21, 2019
Friends, I am going to be bold here and talk about sleep training. I know lots of people hate it and think it's child abuse (often because it is confused as synonymous with one form of sleep training: cry-it-out) but I'm going to share with you the mindset, thoughts and beliefs that led me to decide that sleep training was the right approach for our family.
My approach to sleep is based on these ideas:
1) When sleep is f-ed, we're all f-ed.
If I am not getting enough sleep I become a human monster and am incapable of treating anyone with dignity or respect. I also know my kids are the same.
2) Kids show us when they are ready to learn to sleep.
There are signs that kids are ready to learn to sleep, and those signs are rarely that they just start sleeping all night (although that can happen). The first sign is their health. They should be AT LEAST 4 months old and have doubled their birth weight. But, passing that milestone doesn't necessarily mean they are ready. Other signs include sleep and eating patterns, behaviors that indicate their cognitive an emotional development, and above all the feeling of readiness that the parents have (ok that's not a sign about the kid being ready, but it's still a necessary step.)
3) Humans resist change.
Even though kids might be ready for a change, it will still probably be met with some form of resistance (usually crying). That is the way humans work. In that way, kids' sleep is just like any other change.
4) I am my kids' partner while they go through change.
I empathize, comfort and love my child when they go through the challenging parts of their life, and sleep is no exception. That doesn't mean I rescue them from the discomfort of going through a new experience (when it's time to go through it), but that I am beside them as they walk their path. For this reason, I do not do use a cry-it-out form of training. That doesn't mean my child won't cry, it's just means he is not left to cry and sooth with no support.
If these ideas ring true for you, you might like my approach to sleep training. If they don't, you probably will hate it and think I'm a demon. That's pretty much the same with all parenting issues, and as a parenting expert I'm used to swimming in contention.
If you're a tired mommy who wants some help getting her kiddo to sleep, I want to help you! First, by sending you so much love and compassion. Second, by offering you the coaching videos on sleep training that I will be posting in the Mom-Me Experience group this week. And finally, by letting you know I am always here for you if you ever want to talk. Book a free session with me and let's figure this out together!
Want my FREE guide to getting your kids to listen, the first time you ask? Click below!