• Ann Kaplan

Parenting on YOUR terms

Updated: Sep 22

This week I have been on fire with parenting passion. This happens every time I revisit my coaching curriculum and that's exactly what I'm doing nonstop right now. I'm getting ready to open a phenomenal group coaching program and that means I'm up-leveling all my client materials (get ready everyone!).


The universe lit a fire in my belly just in time for me to get all impassioned about this post a fellow mom shared in a peaceful parenting group on Facebook:


"I need help with my four year old. He is yelling, defying, being horribly unkind to other children who have done nothing to him... I am at a loss. I feel like a horrible parent, and he is just out of control. He demands everything and screams if he doesn't get it. He does horribly mean and terrifying things and I just want to run away. I feel like I have no place in our home, and I answer to him. I bring this up to my family and they immediately tell me it's because I don't "punish" him or "beat his ass" but I don't see how hitting my kid and yelling at him is going to do anything productive. Help!"

     

It is heartbreaking to see moms feel caught between punishing/yelling and being a doormat. This mom is grappling with the false belief that authority and leadership have to come by sacrificing compassion and respect for her child.





It’s such a false dichotomy, this push and pull between 'strict and lenient.' This thinking totally throws us off the trail of discovering truly effective parenting. It puts all our focus on deciding between controlling our child or being invisible to them, and the truth is that neither of these things are even possible.


The real magic is doing neither of these things. The parenting approach I teach my clients is about setting and enforcing boundaries with compassion for both of you, without losing sight of your child. It’s hard to believe it when you haven’t found your way yet, but it’s possible to improve children's behavior without being punitive. And it's possible to honor yourself and your needs without hurting your child. In fact, advocacy without punishment is the most powerful parenting you can create.


This is a deeply personal journey, and a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works. The real success stories happen for moms who refuse to stop seeking solutions that feel right to them, and support in finding and executing them.


This my job - a sherpa along a mother's path to raising her kids on her own terms.


If you feel out of control, either because you're being treated like a doormat, or because your efforts at discipline are turning you into someone you don't want to be, you are NOT parenting on your own terms at all. I’m here to help you figure out what those terms are and how to honor them when you are ready for it.


Never forget it’s possible to enjoy parenting, steer your kids, AND stay in alignment with yourself - you don’t have to compromise yourself for this! Set up a free Discovery Call and let's help you find yourself and the relationship you want with your child again.

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© 2018 by Ann Kaplan