Same Sh*t, Different Day
Updated: Mar 31, 2020
One of the side perks about spending my workday peeking into the lives of dozens of moms, is that I get to have my finger on the pulse of parenthood in a more general sense. My individual parenting challenges rarely feel unusual to me anymore; I always know at least one other mom dealing with the same thing! It confirms something I always felt, even when I was the only mom I knew: that we are all going through the same BS and grappling with the same emotional ups and downs; we're all in the same boat and we are not alone.
Never has our universality felt more true than now. Last week, each of my coaching sessions felt practically the same - my clients were feeling overwhelmed, adrift, and worried. They were struggling to navigate their new situation - namely doing EVERYTHING at home, seemingly all at once, and with children underfoot: working, schooling, housekeeping, exercising, adulting and just generally LIVING with limited options and no breaks.
We are all going through the same BS and grappling with the same emotional ups and downs; we're all in the same boat and we are not alone.
What I'm hearing over and over again from moms is hopelessness that our circumstances are making it impossible for our families and homes to function the way we want and need them to... once again, we are all in the same boat and we are not alone.
But here's the thing - because I have been working with these moms for several months, I have learned their unique hangups and thought patterns. Coronavirus is new, but the thoughts and stories my clients shared were the same things they have been working to overcome from the beginning of our time together:
"There's never time to have a moment for myself."
"If I ask for my husband to change his schedule, I'm being selfish."
"I'm letting my family down if I don't do this 'right'."
"Something awful is going to happen if I mess up."
"My partner is too busy for me to get a break."
"If I'm not doing the stuff I see other moms doing, I'm slacking as a mom."
"Everyone else seems fine; what's the matter with me?"
"I can't control my temper."
"Why can't I just enjoy being with my kids?!?!"
The real, honest truth is that the things standing between us and grounded, skilled confidence in motherhood haven't changed a bit. Our brains love to trick us into thinking we're at ground zero every time something new comes up, and here's how that's mixing us up right now:
The stuff that needs to change, we're trying to keep the same. Meanwhile, the things that feel scary and unknowable, are really just the same familiar stuff. We think we are supposed to figure out how to make our OLD lives fit in this NEW reality - that's not true; we must and CAN change and adapt that stuff. But that's only possible when we come back to the obstacle thoughts that keep us trapped and hopeless.
To the mom who is finally ready to get on top of things, not just in this one weird moment in our lives, but going from this point forward into a different forever, it's time to book a discovery call. A changed perspective on your motherhood, enjoyable and positive relationships with your children, and a system for running your family that WORKS is always available to you, even now, and that's exactly what you'll walk away from our call with, whether we decide to keep working together or not.
I'm sending you and your family tons of love and light today. We are not alone - we are all in the same boat, and I'm right there with you.